Becoming Self Aware

First of all, I’ve written to you about a word I’ve become very attached to over the last few months: BECOMING. This is my season right now. I am becoming.

Here’s a quick definition: the process of coming to be something or of passing into a state.

This is me, I am entering a new season of life, that season is prying me out of old ways of thinking, of routine and familiarity and it’s bringing out a lot of emotion. I like my life the way it is right now-- that’s not to say it couldn’t be better. But, it’s what I’m used to, and I’m comfortable with it. But comfort, doesn’t breed growth. Take it practically, when you’re a kid, you have a bed that’s a little too big for you. WHY? Because you’re parents anticipate growth. You aren’t going to be 3ft forever. You know you’re going to get taller until you’ve grown completely.

You have to make room for it though. I tend  to want to stay comfortable, and not allow my world to be uprooted. But, this doesn’t allow for the full process of becoming to take place. We have to learn to give growth the space it needs. There are some things we may need to cut out. For me this could look like a number of things: TV, spending money on clothes, bad habits, etc. Cutting things out, allows for me to focus on the things that are most important to my growth process.

As you may know by now, I love the enneagram. If you haven’t heard of it, google it. Now. Anyway, I’m a seven, which basically means I struggle with cutting things out of my life. There’s so much good, I want to do it all, and experience everything. But in the process of becoming, there’s a certain level of time and energy that should be given to the area of growth. I’m trying to do too many things, therefore none of them fully come into fruition. So maybe you’re like me and you fall into the “I’m trying to do everything” category. FOCUS. Focus your time and attention to one thing you want to do really well this year, and KILL it. Growing is apart of life, and when we stretch ourselves to learn, love better/ deeper, and forgive quicker, we become more like Jesus.

My boyfriend and I are always learning about each other. It’s the fun/ difficult part of dating. You are combining two completely different lives together. So, we do things differently and think differently. It’s funny because I thought I knew a lot about myself when I was single, but this relationship has brought things to the light, that I didn’t even know were there. Growing is apart of merging life with someone else. You grow in learning more about who they are, who you are, and how you can make it work between both of you.

Don’t get discouraged in your growth season. I was talking to one of my friends this week, and I shared how I am experiencing growing pains, and she said that self awareness is a humbling and painful process, because you realize how capable you are of hurting others. It’s true. I hurt people all the time, sometimes unintentionally, sometimes intentionally. Things I say and do, can cause others pain, and I could remain unaware for years. Becoming more self aware and experiencing growth, allows you to stop the pattern. It doesn’t have to be this way anymore. Once you spot the area you need to grow in, you don’t have to spend the rest of your life unaware of it, and continue in the trap. Break free, release yourself from the pattern and move towards freedom and growth.

So how do we do this? JESUS. The person who has made us new because of his death and resurrection. Matthew 16:24-26 says this, “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” This passage has shifted my whole way of thinking. Growing, molding, shaping, changing; requires us to die to ourselves. We must stop living in the same habits, and seek God first. Above everything, develop a relationship and allow his grace to change our thoughts and actions. Once we realize we are fully forgiven when we accept Jesus into our hearts, and fully loved by him, because we’re his children, we begin to be shaped into our new identity. This gives us the freedom to change and grow. We aren’t tallied against, or marked once we’ve done something wrong. Grace isn’t us trying hard not to sin, or else we’ll be condemned. Grace is knowing, and living in the identity of being truly forgiven, and given a second chance. We can’t grow, if we don’t grasp grace and what it means for us.

There are practical steps as well, for us to grow. Here’s my list and challenge for you.

  1. What is something you need to grow in?

    Some examples: quick to forgive, slow to anger, open to being vulnerable with others, deeper friendships, becoming more responsible, reliable, sacrificing for others, trusting God with your needs - the list goes on.

                2. What is something that is hindering your from growing?

a. Some examples: social media, selfishness, fear, anxiety

`    3. What are somethings you can do in 2019, to step out of comfort and into a  season of growth?

Some examples: Ask for forgiveness, have an honest conversation with someone, make a new friend, discipline yourself in your finances, set aside time in your week for someone else, step out in faith, trusting God and his Word.


I’m excited for this year, and I can’t wait to see all the work God does in my heart.

If you want to talk, or have any questions, email me: