The Damage of a Jealous Heart
She walks into the room, wearing the shoes you can’t afford, twirling her long brown hair, in her size zero jeans and subconsciously, you scoff at her. She didn’t say anything to you, and she didn’t have to. Your mind is permeated with thoughts of jealousy and inadequacy. “Man, I shouldn’t be buying this chocolate muffin, I don’t really need it. Maybe, if I stopped eating things like this, I’d look like her too. Maybe I should get extensions, I can save for a bit, and afford to splurge a little on such an item. Maybe I should start watching more youtube videos, to learn how to better sculpt my face into something beautiful”
These may be some of the thoughts that fill your mind, as you stare at her intently. Some of us might walk away, and forget the moment ever happened. Others of us, it haunts our day. I have felt this way countless times, and it still continues to happen. I am surrounded by beautiful women, with skinny bodies, long hair, and the hippest clothes. In those moments, I find myself immediately encouraged to spend money in order to achieve the look for myself. If I just had those shoes she had, I could walk in that confidence too. But we know that isn’t true. Once that item has been purchased, there are more we add to a list -- that can never be completed. I follow a lot of fashion accounts on instagram that encourage this behavior. The whole reason they post beautiful girls in beautiful clothes, is so you're suckered into purchasing them. The industry feeds off of our need to be better than the person next to us. It’s a constant, unspoken competition, that continues to happen, because we let it. I’m FULLY guilty of this. The moment, I step out wearing my cute outfit, I feel great, beautiful even. Until someone else comes in, and I don’t meet the standard of beauty.
This hurts our souls. I have talked about comparison before, because I know how much of a problem it is for us. What if, instead of wishing we had the same things as someone else, we celebrated their beauty? The first thing we want to do, is possess the beauty for ourselves. We want the clothes, the hair, the body type. But in all of our eagerness to attain such an image, we forget to celebrate what God has created and who he’s given it to. If someone gave you a beautiful car, and a person walked in, and bought the same car to be just like you, what would that do to the car you just received? It would take away the originality of it. God has blessed each person with specific beauty. Instead of seeking it for ourselves, let’s celebrate thiers and thank God for them. How might our attitude change? If we stopped being jealous, and thanked God for blessing them with that beauty, we would have more love for those around us. As humans, we are selfish. We are fallen, and sinners. This means, that we desire things for ourselves, in our own ability to get ahead or be the best. But this takes away from others. We shouldn’t want to rob thier beauty, we should want them to walk in it.
When you want to compare yourself to that girl, and look down on yourself, you hurt yourself, but you also hurt them. Train your heart and mind to be thankful for them, and how God has created something wonderful. You’re a byproduct of his beauty as well. If you did this for others, wouldn’t you want it done for you? Don’t wish you had her beauty. Celebrate how God’s wonder is shown through her, and how his wonder shines through you too. You’re different. We weren’t made to look the same. This shows God’s love for diversity, color, creativity. We are creatively designed by God. All different, but all beautiful. Don’t try and take her beauty, you’ll begin to lose the one given to you. You don’t want to be a copy of someone else. The next time she walks into the room, speak blessings over her in your mind. Don’t speak lies or insults over yourself. This will only hurt your heart and contaminate your beauty. A jealous heart is one that hasn’t been able to appreciate and celebrate all the beauty given to them. People are always going to have something you want. Be happy they have it, instead of thinking of ways for how you can attain it.
The devil wins when we let our jealousy control our thoughts, and our actions. It doesn’t lead us to loving our neighbors better. What has God commanded of us?
“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against a fellow Israelite, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18 NLT