The Best You
I’m reading two books right now by the same author, and both are challenging me in this idea of becoming the best version of yourself. This idea that becoming your best self, not only helps your future spouse, but it has a great effect on the world. Imagine you becoming the best version of yourself, working hard at your calling (craft, vocation) and making a difference in the lives of people around you, and the lives of people who interact with your work.
What does it mean to become the best you? First, you have to discover who you are and who you aren’t. Not who someone else wants you to be, but who God has created you to be. Before you get upset at people who tell you- -you should have a cleaner room, or shouldn’t be late to important events, they are right. You can’t pull the old “this is who I am” card, because it’s not who you are. It’s a habit you’ve developed and a negative one at that. We’re all here to improve. I’m talking about the people who tell you, “I wish you were more outgoing, I wish you could be really good at business or architecture. I wish you were better at leading people instead of following them.” They may not say it explicitly, but you know what they’re getting at. They are trying to mold you into the “you” they think you should be. Well, maybe that’s just not you. Those people don’t get it. You don’t have to become someone else, but you should improve who God has created you to be.
I’m dating someone who is very different from me. He is clean and organized, introverted, analytical, structured and independent. But, who he is can help me find a balance between myself and him. I’m not changing who I am, but improving. In areas I fail in, he succeeds and vise versa. There’s a healthy mix of both that need to be implemented. So, I’m not changing myself by becoming someone else, but Im improving things that I need to grow in. It’s crazy how much David challenges me, but in ways I actually need to be challenged in. I’m not implying you need a boyfriend in order to improve yourself. I’m just relaying my experience. You notice them more when there’s a relationship close to you that challenges you to grow.
Like I said at the beginning, in order to become the best version of yourself, you first have to know who you are and who you aren’t, so you don’t end up becoming someone else’s version of you. In a world where social media is the root of distraction (i’m guilty too), it can ruin our perspective of ourselves and who God has created us to be. Because we are constantly seeing other lives up close, we can compare and grow jealous of their accomplishments, appearance and personhood. We want that appeal. We want to become the person whose life we’ve become mesmerized with. But that’s not you, that’s them. Leave their life to them. God doesn’t want a bunch of duplicates running around. He wants you, living as the best version of yourself, working hard at doing what he has called you to do.
So how do you discover who you are apart from who you aren't? Can I make a suggestion? Get off social media for some time. It may sound impossible, but do it. I’m telling you, just by being off of it for a week, you’ll have a clearer understanding of who you are because you won’t be bombarded with a bunch of “who you aren’ts.” Next, ask around to people who know you best, that could be your family, boyfriend, or best friends. Whoever’s opinion you trust to lay out some fundamental things that make up who you are. Finally and most importantly, ask God. Ask him to reveal parts of you- you may not even know yet. Read his Word, and seek him daily. Seek him with your whole heart. Because God wants you to be the best of you, he will reveal to you who you are and what he has called you to do. It’s going to take time. Just like it takes years and years to master something, it’s going to take a lot of hard work, to become your best self. But guess what? The more you work at becoming your best self, the more you look like Jesus. The more he is glorified. The more your marriage, or relationship will flourish. The more your family will flourish. Listen, this might sound like a whole bunch of work you don’t feel like doing and if so, let me ask you something? For the rest of your life, would you rather have mediocre relationships or deep, life-giving, transformational ones? If you aren’t willing to put in the work it takes to become the best version of yourself, you can’t expect others to either. That means, the people you surround yourself with are going to be burdened by the same thing: the inability to become any better than then are right now. They won’t change, grow, or develop their talents. Is that what you want? I’d expect a “no”right about now. Exactly, you want those around you, and even further, the world, to grow and people to develop into the best versions of themselves. It starts with you.
Discover who you are, and who you aren’t. Discover who God has called you to be. Discover the calling he has placed on your life. I don’t just mean “calling” as a hyper spiritual world that has to do with helping helping the poor, and it could mean that too, but it isn’t limited to it. What is the job God has called you to. What are you good at? What do you love? What do you want to do your best in? Discover that, and then go do it. There are so many opportunities at your fingertips. If you love design, be an architect, design logos for companies, etc. If you love music, become a musician, write music, and live out your calling. Life is too short to live out someone else’s calling on your life. You won’t be happy, and you’ll end up failing if you aren’t putting every ounce of your heart and soul into it. Don’t live a mediocre life. It isn’t what God intended. Maybe you’re called to the mission field, or maybe you’re called to be a really good chef. Each calling is special and unique, and given by God. It’s apart of becoming the best version of yourself. Discover it, then go do it.